Maybe. Maybe Not.
My son said the most brilliant thing over the holidays, and I wrote it down to forever commemorate.
He said, “I don’t know anything for sure.”
I found such relief in that statement, a kind of release of control. He’s always been an old soul and been able to allow life to unfold without becoming emotionally attached. I, on the other hand, have to work on not becoming immediately emotionally attached like a psycho barnacle.
Not knowing anything for sure doesn't mean he’s insensitive: he’s incredibly sensitive. He just is deciphering when it comes to where he sends his energy.
Reacting to situations with emotions means that we instantly assign a sort of rating system to what we’re experiencing. For example, automatically deciding something is bad means that you are choosing to suffer. You are labeling the situation and making it a thing you have to now respond to. The moment you label a situation as bad/good or terrible/not terrible or fortunate/unfortunate or good luck/bad luck, you are automatically assigning great joy or suffering.
What if, instead, you think, “maybe, maybe not?” Then, you’re ready for anything that comes as a result. You’re literally choosing to be neutral and not automatically choosing a title.
When we assign situations emotional meaning, automatically judging and labeling, we set ourselves up for review. Everything isn’t five stars. We aren’t Google or Amazon.
Being reactionary means you’re handing over your power. Never let anyone determine your response. That’s YOUR job. You have the amazing ability (responsibility) to not assign good/bad.
You can say to yourself: “maybe, maybe not.” You can also ask yourself, “Am I qualified to be the final answer?” “What if it works out?” “What if this isn’t true?” “Do I have control of this situation?” Whatever you choose as your personal response to these situations, write it down. Put it on a sticky note and place it on your mirror. Put it in your planner or your phone. Say it to yourself. Jot it down during the day to remind yourself that YOU decide if you’re going to suffer.
I do know this for sure: I am guaranteeing to drive myself bat shit crazy if I immediately label situations.
Take a step back. There is such peace in just not knowing, not assigning emotionally charged meaning.
You’re stronger than you think you are, and I’ve always got your back.
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Disclaimer: This blog is totally my opinion and should not serve as medical or psychiatric advice. I never use AI: I write my own words.
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