How to Spot Your Crutch

Crutches: the Literal Ones

When you were younger (or maybe even now, I don't judge), did you ever wish you were on crutches? Remember the cool girls in school who got some type of fabulous leg injury (either playing sports or skiing or whilst hiking the Grand Canyon with her wealthy family)? I admit I used to think it was beyond cool: maybe it was the attention those girls were receiving or the fantastic story that went along with the injury. I don't know.

But, in reality, having literal crutches is the worst--IYKYK. You're tethered to two uncomfortable sticks which make your armpits ache, you are totally dependent on them, and you need them and hate them all at the same time. Crutches are a vital part of recovery because you're resting your injured body part and allowing it to heal. The literal meaning of a crutch, according to the old faithful Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is "a source or means of support or assistance that is relied on heavily or excessively." I hate when people include dictionary definitions in blogs, but hang with me for a minute...

Crutches: the Metaphorical Ones

We all know what literal crutches are, but I've been thinking about metaphorical crutches. A metaphorical crutch is when you rely on something you shouldn't need to. This can seem rather confusing at first, so here are some examples of metaphorical crutches:

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• grabbing your vape

• cleaning and organizing to the extreme

• rotting in your bed while scrolling

• eating sugar

• gossiping

• drinking alcohol

• blaming others for what you're feeling

• telling yourself over and over again things that are unkind, like "I hate myself," "Why am I so stupid?" "ugh, I always mess things up."

Do any of the above sound familiar? Everyone does it, so you aren't alone. I've realized that my current crutches are scrolling reels (when I want to avoid something), eating ice cream (I seriously need to go to some kind of meeting about my love for ice cream--it's not normal), and making lists (making the list is not doing the things, just fyi).

What are Yours?

What are your current metaphorical crutches? Be honest with yourself--it's never really fun to think about what you might do that you shouldn't need to be doing. But, the need you feel before doing it is what I find incredibly interesting. We get a quick dopamine rush when we grab for/rely on our crutches, so it literally feels good! In the moment, you feel like you're taking care of yourself because you're allowing yourself a reprieve from your intrusive thoughts or discomfort or awkwardness or feeling left out. It's a totally normal human response, so you are not alone.

Your Trigger(s)?

After you get curious about your personal crutches, I encourage you to get even more curious and think about what triggered your need for the crutch. Crutches are used to avoid, hide, protect, please, along with many, many others. Pay attention to what caused you to, say, grab your phone and scroll, and just wonder a bit about it. The first step to any type of lasting change begins with shame-free curiosity.

The Irony

So, here's the irony. In order to not be crippled (relying on the crutches), you have to let them go. This is irony at her finest. This is all a process which takes time, patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to want to put down the crutches. It's up to you! Do it when you want to. Or don't. It's your life!

I'll leave you with this: what's your crutch? why is it your crutch? Learning about yourself is part of this wonderful life we get to live. It's a journey toward self-acceptance and honesty.

You are stronger than you think you are, and I've always got your back.

Are you interested in learning how life coaching with me can help you discover your crutches and kick them to the curb? I offer a free consultation--click this link and let's get started!

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Copyright 2024, Suzanne Hanna Coaching, LLC

Disclaimer from Suzanne: I am a licensed educator. I am not a mental health professional and I am not a physician.

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