How to Tame Anxiety
Would you believe me if I told you that you can learn to manage your anxiety?
Anxiety. Is. Normal.
Let's start with easing your mind, knowing that anxiety is something everyone deals with (some people experience the physical symptoms more acutely than others--just like some people have worse period cramps than others--it's just a random thing).
Anxiety used to literally cripple me: I would feel my heart racing and thumping in my chest, my palms would get clammy. My eyes would dart around the room like a crazy person.
I would be CONVINCED that the story in my head was 100% true.
What's ironic is sometimes the threat we perceive usually isn’t even a real threat (this happens more often than not).
In fact, I would argue that at least 85% of what I can worry about isn’t reality (it’s just me making up stories happening in the future–we’re natural storytellers and listeners, and it’s a human desire to know the ending. So if we don’t know what’s going to happen, we make it up!).
Learning this helped me tremendously by easing my mind: I'm not crazy–I am just trying to make it make sense.
Do you listen to the stories in your head? You know, the stories which convince yourself that you are going to die in a fiery plane crash (when you aren’t even on a plane)?
Or the stories which convince yourself that you are, in fact, going to throw up on your midterm? They can be wild!
I understsand anxiety to actually be your body’s physical reaction to a perceived threat. In life coaching sessions, I explain to girls how our bodies physically respond to threats (you learn the parts of your brain that respond in very primitive ways).
You learn that this physical response is normal and can be relieved.
Once you get your nervous system feeling supported and calm by using the techniques I share, you can turn on the part of your brain that actually problem-solves.
Then, you’re ready to figure out how to manage the perceived threat (and determine if it's a real threat).
Learning the tools to better manage anxiety’s physical responses to perceived threats changed my life.
One of my favorite tools to hack my nervous system (to get her calmed down so I can actually think) is called box breathing. When I observe that I’m getting anxious, I immediately breathe intentionally.
Box breathing is SO EASY: you breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, and hold for four seconds. I do this at least three times.
This breathing technique calms my nervous system and allows me to leave "threat" mode and get back into "whew, now I can think straight" mode.
Understanding the beast that is anxiety is the first step in accepting that it won’t kill you, and this knowledge gifts you with the power to manage your symptoms and reactions.
You learn to take back your power and take responsibility for your reaction to the perceived threat.
It’s empowering to know that you have responsibility.
(side note: “responsibility” is not a terrible word–it literally means you have the ability to respond, and that is powerful and liberating!).
I hope you try box breathing when you feel your anxiety gaining power: it works!
You’re stronger than you think you are, and I’ve always got your back.
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Disclaimer: This blog is totally my opinion and should not serve as medical or psychiatric advice.
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