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I’ve been wondering why we spend a chunk of December focusing on what we haven’t done rather than what we have done. 2025 resolutions and the what-I-should-dos or what-I-should-have-dones are knocking at our doors. A few days ago, I found myself languishing in the self-pity of: you should eat more protein, you should lift heavier weights, you should volunteer more, you should blah, blah, blah. Then a thought occurred to me: what would my January 2024 self say to my December 2024 self that is encouraging and positive? My entire demeanor shifted when I thought about this: I migrated from feeling empty and not-good-enough to feeling a sense of pride in focusing on what I actually did well.
The holiday season, one would gather, would be a time of cheer and counting of the blessings. It does this, kind of, but beyond the signs people have posted on their porches proclaiming “Believe!” and “Cheers!”, there's an undercurrent of foreshadowing about the upcoming new year. Thanksgiving tries to usher in gratitude, but that seems a bit more family-oriented (think, “I’m grateful for my horn-of-plenty-clad table with healthy family members all lovingly smiling at each other.”). I’m not knocking Thanksgiving, but that type of gratitude is fleeting and seems to end when Black Friday rears its money-grubbing head. We’re still with our holiday cheer, but the excitement and sometimes dread-inducing pressure of the new year looms like a creepy little elf.
Switching to what we HAVE accomplished this year instantly lightens the mood. When we laser focus on the gaps in our lives, we are directing our attention to what we lack. Scarcity is a nasty little rascal and creates a sense of not-belonging, never having enough, and an overall feeling of emptiness. Our society makes sure we feel as if we don’t have what we need: cue our obsessive shopping and grabbing for more, more, more. Fighting against scarcity thinking really challenges us as it’s just not the norm.
My proposition for this week is that we stop and revisit our January 2024 selves. That girl who greeted the new year with an anxious smile, excited about new challenges and new opportunities. That girl who set New Year’s resolutions with gusto, and always with the most grand and authentic of intentions. That girl who was YOU and is STILL YOU. What props can you give her? What are you proud of her for doing, saying, leaving, adopting, understanding, creating, celebrating, grieving, absorbing, learning? She’s in there and loves that you see her. You have grown tremendously, and I am proud of you for recognizing that.
Here’s to you spending the week before Christmas with the January 2024 You and letting her feel the love. When we run from accomplishment to accomplishment, we miss the moments of reflection which give us the opportunity to truly stop for a minute and appreciate our hard work. Allowing yourself a small window to feel true gratitude for yourself is a gift.
You're stronger than you think you are, and I've always got your back.
Copyright 2024, Suzanne Hanna Coaching, LLC
Disclaimer from Suzanne: I am a licensed educator. I am not a mental health professional and I am not a physician.
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Working with Suzanne had a very positive impact in my life. She is such a delight to work with; she always encouraged me to be myself which felt validating and made me feel seen. Her advice was always what I needed to mature and grow into myself. The way she interacts with me and others is genuine and I will always remember her for being so loving and kind. I also loved getting to laugh with her as well. Working with Suzanne is such a treat and I would work with her again in a heartbeat!
Catawba College
Sheesh, growing up isn’t easy! Suzanne has been one of my rocks to help me in all aspects, ranging from academia to personal life. She coached me through friend drama, doubts of academic success and even family conflicts. I struggled with self confidence in boarding school and Suzanne was there to support me through it all. Her sense of humor, wisdom, and bright outlook encouraged me to see the world as half full rather than half empty all the time. Thank you, Suzanne!
University of Utah
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Disclaimer: I am a licensed educator. I am not a doctor, counselor, or therapist. The viewpoints shared on my website pages are mine alone and do not replace medical or psychological advice or care.