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Maybe. Maybe Not.
My son said the most brilliant thing over the holidays, and I wrote it down to forever commemorate.
He said, “I don’t know anything for sure.”
I found such relief in that statement, a kind of release of control. He’s always been an old soul and been able to allow life to unfold without becoming emotionally attached. I, on the other hand, have to work on not becoming immediately emotionally attached like a psycho barnacle.
Not knowing anything for sure doesn't mean he’s insensitive: he’s incredibly sensitive. He just is deciphering when it comes to where he sends his energy.
Reacting to situations with emotions means that we instantly assign a sort of rating system to what we’re experiencing. For example, automatically deciding something is bad means that you are choosing to suffer. You are labeling the situation and making it a thing you have to now respond to. The moment you label a situation as bad/good or terrible/not terrible or fortunate/unfortunate or good luck/bad luck, you are automatically assigning great joy or suffering.
What if, instead, you think, “maybe, maybe not?” Then, you’re ready for anything that comes as a result. You’re literally choosing to be neutral and not automatically choosing a title.
When we assign situations emotional meaning, automatically judging and labeling, we set ourselves up for review. Everything isn’t five stars. We aren’t Google or Amazon.
Being reactionary means you’re handing over your power. Never let anyone determine your response. That’s YOUR job. You have the amazing ability (responsibility) to not assign good/bad.
You can say to yourself: “maybe, maybe not.” You can also ask yourself, “Am I qualified to be the final answer?” “What if it works out?” “What if this isn’t true?” “Do I have control of this situation?” Whatever you choose as your personal response to these situations, write it down. Put it on a sticky note and place it on your mirror. Put it in your planner or your phone. Say it to yourself. Jot it down during the day to remind yourself that YOU decide if you’re going to suffer.
I do know this for sure: I am guaranteeing to drive myself bat shit crazy if I immediately label situations.
Take a step back. There is such peace in just not knowing, not assigning emotionally charged meaning.
You’re stronger than you think you are, and I’ve always got your back.
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Disclaimer: This blog is totally my opinion and should not serve as medical or psychiatric advice. I never use AI: I write my own words.
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- Maddie B. Wake Forest University
Working with Suzanne had a very positive impact in my life. She is such a delight to work with; she always encouraged me to be myself which felt validating and made me feel seen. Her advice was always what I needed to mature and grow into myself. The way she interacts with me and others is genuine and I will always remember her for being so loving and kind. I also loved getting to laugh with her as well. Working with Suzanne is such a treat and I would work with her again in a heartbeat!
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Catawba College
Sheesh, growing up isn’t easy! Suzanne has been one of my rocks to help me in all aspects, ranging from academia to personal life. She coached me through friend drama, doubts of academic success and even family conflicts. I struggled with self confidence in boarding school and Suzanne was there to support me through it all. Her sense of humor, wisdom, and bright outlook encouraged me to see the world as half full rather than half empty all the time. Thank you, Suzanne!
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University of Utah
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Disclaimer: I am a licensed educator. I am not a doctor, counselor, or therapist. The viewpoints shared on my website pages are mine alone and do not replace medical or psychological advice or care.