Before You Lose It This Holiday, Read This

As a College & Teen Girl Life Coach, I make social media posts telling college kids how to have a more peaceful holiday with their parents, so why shouldn't I support the moms with a bit of my own advice about maintaining the peace?

(I'm over here trying not to come apart in the season of freaking joy).

There are many reasons I’m coming apart (compounded with the the existential dread living in America is so graciously gifting me), but here is why this particular day of the season had me feeling like the grinch (and, I’ll tell you how I pulled myself out, so don’t leave yet because I think this just might help you, too).

Here are my current issues that might sound shallow but feel real, so they count:

I feel bloated, constipated, and puffy and look like I've been licking my daughter’s horse’s salt lick. My pants are tight.

Why do I wear sweaters to everything? They feel cute at first, but then I get hot and splotchy and flush and pull on the neck like a dumb 7-yr-old boy and hate my life. But, then I wear another one to the next party. Somebody explain this.

My anxiety is raging because I wasn’t organized and didn't make a master gift list, so I don't know what I forgot, and who I forgot (and, yes, I'm fully aware that I could make one now, spreadsheet queens).

The real tree we bought is gorgeous, but the garland is crispy and appears to have become kindling, and I'm sure my 18th Century house might go up in flames (add that to the 3 am worries that are plaguing me each night).

How am I supposed to make good nutrition choices when the entire spread at events is casseroles and ham and cheese? I cannot make good decisions when that is all that is available. This is why I’m constipated.

My kids are driving me freaking crazy. They lay around under blankets that make my pretty Chiristmas pillows have to take a backseat in a pile on the floor, and they groan and grunt and act like they are dying slowly.

Also, their hours are absurd, and even the dogs are confused. When I'm up at 3 am and solving the world’s problems, I wonder when they went to bed and if I'm a horrible mom, and then I remember that they are in high school and college and need the freedom to not have a drill sergeant mom. But holy shit! I miss going to bed at 9 pm and reading and not feeling like a fattened up Christmas hog.

My social battery is at a solid 13%. And, we have more family events to come, like the big ones since it’s Christmas week. How am I supposed to act like I want to do this? I’m so tired of talking and eating salt. And who keeps filling my wine glass?

Cue the moment I reeled myself in.

As I was drinking my third cup of coffee on an empty stomach (another fabulous health choice), staring at our tree, and my left eye was twitching, my gaze landed on this ornament:

I received this adorable school bus from Lisa, the driver of bus 57, when I was an assistant principal at Wiley Middle School. It was my first gig as an administrator, and it was a doozy of a year. I honestly thought she hated me, so this gift was special.

This simple little bus snapped me out of my misery today because I remembered the Suzanne who received this ornament 20 years ago.

That Suzanne would be so proud of the Suzanne I am today. She would be amazed that we now have two amazing children, restored a historic landmark property, have our own vegetable and English gardens, and live mostly happy and healthy lives.

I was experiencing a legit Scrooge moment, and the ghost of Christmas past reminded me that future Suzanne will look back on this season. She will be filled with love and will be so happy that I decided, TODAY, to get over myself and sprinkle in a bit of joy.

Everything is a phase when it comes to parenting, and we learned that during the awful toddler and middle school years.

Why isn’t that fact emblazoned in our brains? We have to keep learning that this is all temporary.

These moments are the ones we will yearn for in the future.

My kids are all mine right now–they don’t yet have spouses and careers and all the things which pull them away from us.

They are here. They are our hope for the future. I will enjoy them.

You are doing so good, mama.

YOU are the magic. Your family is grateful (even if they seem extra grumpy and your own pants don’t fit).

Your future self will be so glad you decided today to enjoy this season just a little bit more.

You don’t have to be Mary-freaking-Poppins to enjoy it. All we need to do is tick it up just a tad bit more. Remember, all that annoys us is a phase.

I’m with you. Future us will smile when she thinks of current us.

Love,

Suzanne

p.s. Share this with a friend who needs a holiday pick-me-up.

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