When Anger Is a Mirror: How to Find the Truth Behind Your Reactions
I hated swim team when I was young.
It was the source of one of my most embarrassing childhood moments.
I hated wearing a bathing suit so tight it made the rest of my body feel like a busted can of biscuits.
I hated the freezing morning practices (it was summer vacation, for goodness’ sake).
And worst of all, at the stupid end-of-season banquet...
I GOT AN AWARD FOR HOW BAD I WAS AT SWIM TEAM.
The Award No One Wants
The coach — a gorgeous college swimmer — handed out superlatives that night.
Most of my teammates got the cute ones: Best Attitude, Cutest Backstroke, Most Likely to Be Miss Perfect.
And me? I got the “I Can’t Do This Syndrome” award.
Everyone laughed.
I turned fifty shades of red.
I was humiliated and spittin’-nails mad.
How dare she say I had a defeatist attitude?
Or worse... what if my teenage armor wasn’t as tough as I thought it was?
What if everyone already knew that deep down, I didn’t believe I could do it?
The Hardest Part: She Was Right
It took me years to admit it, but she was 100% correct.
I thought I was hiding my fear and my dislike of the yelling, the whistles, the breath-holding, the chaos.
But I wasn’t.
And here’s what I’ve learned since then:
What makes me the angriest is usually something true about me that I’d rather not see.
When Anger Is Actually a Mirror
If something (or someone) really gets under your skin, it might be worth asking:
Could it be that you’re angry because it’s true?
Facing our vulnerabilities is tough work.
And instead of facing them, we often just get mad.
Anger can be a mirror.
It reflects the parts of ourselves we haven’t yet accepted.
My anger isn’t always about others. It's often pointing me toward a truth about myself I haven’t made peace with yet.
You’re Stronger Than You Think
So if something stings today, take a breath before you lash out.
Ask what it’s trying to show you.
You’re stronger than you think you are.
And for the record, the stupid Elks Club swim team can still bite me.
