Band-Aid Friends: Why Your First College Friend Might Not Be Your Forever Friend (and that’s okay)

When you show up to college and freshman orientation, everything is brand-spanking new.

New bed. New schedule. New people.

And a LOT of nervous energy.

So when you meet someone—maybe in your dorm or at orientation—you hang on tight.

You eat lunch together, go to welcome events, sit next to each other in info sessions. You swap schedules. You follow each other on every social platform. You feel a little less alone.

This person becomes your Band-Aid Friend. And you become theirs!

A Band-Aid Friend shows up when you need a buffer between you and the unknown. They give you someone to sit with. Someone to text. Someone who helps you feel like you belong...and fast. And that’s the whole point.

Band-Aid Friends serve a very important purpose

Just like Band-Aids temporarily cover tender spots until they heal or feel comfortable, this Band-Aid Friend will do the same for you (and you'll ALSO be providing this kindness for your new friend!).

But here’s what can catch you off guard:

As the weeks pass, you might realize you don’t have much in common. The conversations feel a little forced. The vibe shifts. Maybe you don’t feel like yourself around them anymore.

Or maybe you just start gravitating elsewhere (or she does and you feel left out).

That’s normal.

A Band-Aid friend isn’t a failed friendship. It’s just a first one.

Sometimes they stick. But often, they don’t.

College is full of friendship shifts

You’ll meet people in your major, in clubs, in the dining hall, at parties, during recruitment, in the hallway at 2AM when you’re brushing your teeth.

Some of those friendships will last years. Some will last a few weeks. Some will teach you what you like in a friend. Some will remind you of what you don’t.

Let that be okay.

There’s no gold star for keeping every connection from day one. You’re allowed to grow, change, and shift into new spaces.

You’re allowed to say, “this was good for a while, but I think I’m outgrowing it.” And, the truth is, your Band-Aid Friend can feel this exact same way about you. And, that's okay too.

The New, Tender, In-Between Space

If you're in that in-between space right now (where things feel weird with the first friend you made) you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re adjusting. You’re becoming. And the right people will come.

Keep showing up. Keep being kind. Keep being you.

You're stronger than you think you are, and I've always got your back.

🩵, Suzanne

Life Coach for College & Teen Girls

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Need help navigating this transition to college (it's tough, but I will help you feel more confident)? This is the exact kind of work I do with my coaching clients. I’ve got you. 🩵 Click HERE.